Life Changes...

I spent about an hour talking with my supervisor (G.V.) today about our campus' future. I really enjoy talking with him. He is very straight forward for someone who was once in the political arena. While we were talking I was prompted to ask him, "If you were in my shoes would you stay here or move on?" He didn't give me a direct answer but instead asked me what I wanted out of life. He brought me right back to an issue that I have been running from for a while...

I have no idea what I want!

That doesn't mean that I don' t have goals/desires. I want my family to be well provided for(That means that I want to generate enough income to meet their needs). I want to be connected with God (meaning that I want to have time with Him everyday). I want to have a happy home filled with God's Love and our love for each other. I want to be the Man/Husband/Father/Minister that God wants me to be. The problem is that if I had to list the things that I wanted to do for myself I couldn't tell you.

I went through an exercise, that I shared with my wife, where I had to answer the question, "What are three things that you would do for yourself that would make you happy/fulfilled?" I couldn't write anything. I wasn't alone in that. Some other folks in the group had the same problem. Then the leader had us write a list of all the things we would do for those we loved. My list was huge. The leader then asked, "Why don't you want to do those same things for yourself? What's wrong with doing things for yourself?"

I really have to ponder that one. I still haven't found an answer. God help me to find me.

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